Here is the last installment of:
How to screw up on interview (unknown source) 13-18 of 18
13.) "During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview."
14.) " A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: 'Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?' I said, 'I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further.' He promptly responded 'I am as long as you'll pay me more.' I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer."
15.) His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume." O_o
16.) "Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."
17.) "...asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home and wanted my phone number. I called security." (Seriously? What kind of idiot would ask something like that?)
18.) "Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He the reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."
I honestly hope they put an alert out on that last guy. Did he honestly think that he would get hired by threatening the interviewer? Slightly crazy if you ask me. My favorite part out of all this funny business will be coming up soon. Look for "Reply to a rejection letter." hehe.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
How to Screw Up an Interview Part 2
Continuing from the last post more of
How to Screw Up an Interview (unknown source) 6-12 of 18
6. "Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed to his forearm."
7. "Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice an answering specific interview questions."
8. " When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office."
9. "At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, he went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."
10. "...pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."
11. "Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much." (What? Seriously...)
12. "While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold."
Next post I'll finish these up. I really don't get the one about not wanting the position because it paid too much. That just baffles me.
How to Screw Up an Interview (unknown source) 6-12 of 18
6. "Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed to his forearm."
7. "Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice an answering specific interview questions."
8. " When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office."
9. "At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, he went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."
10. "...pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."
11. "Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much." (What? Seriously...)
12. "While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold."
Next post I'll finish these up. I really don't get the one about not wanting the position because it paid too much. That just baffles me.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
How to Screw Up an Interview Part 1
Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I've been finding it harder to keep up with things now that I'm working 6 days a week. But here's some more funny stuff to keep you going while I'm trying to keep up with daily life. Here's Part of 1 of:
How to Screw Up an Interview (unknown source):
We've all been interview for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of those don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. The lowlights(1-5 of 18):
1. "...stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."
2. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time."
3. "A balding cadidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to the office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."
4. "...asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."
5. "...announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office, wiping the ketchup on her sleeve."
These only keep getting better. It's amazing what some people even think would be OK to do at an interview. Or maybe they're just not thinking at all.
How to Screw Up an Interview (unknown source):
We've all been interview for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any of those don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. The lowlights(1-5 of 18):
1. "...stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."
2. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time."
3. "A balding cadidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to the office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."
4. "...asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."
5. "...announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office, wiping the ketchup on her sleeve."
These only keep getting better. It's amazing what some people even think would be OK to do at an interview. Or maybe they're just not thinking at all.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Valentine's Day.
Happy Valentine's Day! or Single's Awareness Day as some of my friends will insist upon.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Mixed Feelings
I have come to have mixed feelings about being an adult. It has it's perks, I can drive, earn my own money, buy things if I want to, and make decisions.
Another part of me wishes to be a little girl again. Just playing and going to school wishing I was older. No worries about if my next paycheck is going to stretch as far as I need it to or if it's really going to take me 30 years to pay off my student loans. I've noticed a very upsetting trend the last couple months where my outgoing bills are a good percentage more than my incoming earnings.
I've found myself the last few days needing to slow myself down and take a breather. Part of the realization came from when I donned myself with a pink shirt and red socks Monday morning and then again today when I wore my brown shoes with a black outfit. I gave a sigh and shook my head at myself then I said "Well at least it isn't one black shoe and one brown shoe."
Anyway, the joys of after college life are up and down. Right now mine are looking like the stock market.
Another part of me wishes to be a little girl again. Just playing and going to school wishing I was older. No worries about if my next paycheck is going to stretch as far as I need it to or if it's really going to take me 30 years to pay off my student loans. I've noticed a very upsetting trend the last couple months where my outgoing bills are a good percentage more than my incoming earnings.
I've found myself the last few days needing to slow myself down and take a breather. Part of the realization came from when I donned myself with a pink shirt and red socks Monday morning and then again today when I wore my brown shoes with a black outfit. I gave a sigh and shook my head at myself then I said "Well at least it isn't one black shoe and one brown shoe."
Anyway, the joys of after college life are up and down. Right now mine are looking like the stock market.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Questions Not to Ask
In keeping with the theme of questions for an employer...don't ask these ones (these are not mine. I didn't make them up. But again, I do not know the original source).
Top 10 Questions You Should Never Ask When Being Interviewed for a Job:
1. What's your companies policy on severance pay?
2. How long does it take your company's bureaucracy to get around to firing somebody for poor performance?
3. Could I get an office that's really close to the exit?
4. Does your company's life insurance cover suicide?
5. Who's the ugly (insert swearword) in that picture on your desk?
6. Does your company's insurance consider genital herpes a pre-existing condition?
7. How many sick days do you allow each employee before you stop paying them for not being here?
8. Does your insurance cover sex-change operations?
9. Does your LAN have a firewall that blocks triple-X websites?
10. How frequently do your accountants audit petty cash?
So no matter how curious you are, don't ask!
Top 10 Questions You Should Never Ask When Being Interviewed for a Job:
1. What's your companies policy on severance pay?
2. How long does it take your company's bureaucracy to get around to firing somebody for poor performance?
3. Could I get an office that's really close to the exit?
4. Does your company's life insurance cover suicide?
5. Who's the ugly (insert swearword) in that picture on your desk?
6. Does your company's insurance consider genital herpes a pre-existing condition?
7. How many sick days do you allow each employee before you stop paying them for not being here?
8. Does your insurance cover sex-change operations?
9. Does your LAN have a firewall that blocks triple-X websites?
10. How frequently do your accountants audit petty cash?
So no matter how curious you are, don't ask!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Something to think about: Early Mornings
The other day at my new temp job, I overheard a professor talking to a student.
I didn't hear everything but the gist of the conversation was that the student wanted to have a later meeting time or class or something. Apparently the student didn't want to have to get up so early and make it to a 9 am appointment with the professor. Of course the professor was having none of it and told the student to get themselves out of bed and be on time.
My thoughts were: First 9 am isn't that early. Especially when you can roll out of bed at 8:45 and make it across campus in less than 5 minutes. 2nd...just wait until your employer wants you on time at 9 am and you have an hour commute. Or in my case be there at 7:30 in the morning. Luckily I only live 5 minutes down the road.
So think of having to be at that 8 o'clock class as training for when you'll have a real job and being on time counts towards whether you'll get fired or not. Employers only have so much patience for people who are late consistently.
I didn't hear everything but the gist of the conversation was that the student wanted to have a later meeting time or class or something. Apparently the student didn't want to have to get up so early and make it to a 9 am appointment with the professor. Of course the professor was having none of it and told the student to get themselves out of bed and be on time.
My thoughts were: First 9 am isn't that early. Especially when you can roll out of bed at 8:45 and make it across campus in less than 5 minutes. 2nd...just wait until your employer wants you on time at 9 am and you have an hour commute. Or in my case be there at 7:30 in the morning. Luckily I only live 5 minutes down the road.
So think of having to be at that 8 o'clock class as training for when you'll have a real job and being on time counts towards whether you'll get fired or not. Employers only have so much patience for people who are late consistently.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Interviewing the Employer
One thing that I've learned through the process of interviewing, a possible future employer loves it when the interviewee is prepared. One of the best ways to show off that you actually want the job is to prepare a list of questions to ask the interviewer.
Again I don't know what the source for this info is. I'll credit it properly when I find out. I've edited it slightly.
The placement interview is your opportunity to learn ore about the position, the business, and the department you're considering. You're not just looking for the business that will have you, you're looking for a good fit; a program that fits in with your philosophy and will meet you needs.
Most interviews will provide an opportunity for you to ask questions. If you don't have any questions, it may look as if you don't care/haven't prepared, or are not discriminate in your job search. Before heading to an interview, write down a list of some things you would honestly want to know about the business or position. Decide which things would be appropriate to ask during an interview and work to phrase your questions carefully.
Possible Questions:
1. Can you tell me a little more about the staff structure in your program?
2. Why is this position open? (I got big points for asking this one, this also gives you more info on whether you're replacing someone and possibly why, or if it's a new position)
3. How often has this position been filled in the past five years? What were the main reasons?
4. What would you like done differently by the next person who fills this position? (Another good one)
5. What kind of staff development program do you offer?
6. What can you tell me about the community of______?
7. In what ways is your program growing?
8. What significant changes do you foresee in the near future?
9. What are some of the more difficult problems one would have to face in this position?
10. What opportunities might I have for committee involvement?
11. What advancement opportunities are available for the person who is successful in this position, and within what time frame?
12. What challenges are currently facing your department/institution?
13. What kind of training would I be given for this position?
14. What qualities are you looking for in a candidate?
15. What initially attracted you to this company?
16. What are the things you like most about working here? What are some things you would change?
17. What type of support does this position receive in terms of staff, finances, etc?
18. What is the next step after this position?
19. Can you tell me about the hiring time line for this position? (This one is appropriate for any type of interview. Make sure you know when is an appropriate time to call if you don't hear back from the company.)
Pick a handful that are the most appropriate for the position you're applying to. You may find that some of the questions cross each other or that the interviewer already answered with question through another one.
Remember, people love to talk about themselves. It's what they know best. Showing interest in the interviewer as well as the company is very important in trying to make the best impression.
Again I don't know what the source for this info is. I'll credit it properly when I find out. I've edited it slightly.
The placement interview is your opportunity to learn ore about the position, the business, and the department you're considering. You're not just looking for the business that will have you, you're looking for a good fit; a program that fits in with your philosophy and will meet you needs.
Most interviews will provide an opportunity for you to ask questions. If you don't have any questions, it may look as if you don't care/haven't prepared, or are not discriminate in your job search. Before heading to an interview, write down a list of some things you would honestly want to know about the business or position. Decide which things would be appropriate to ask during an interview and work to phrase your questions carefully.
Possible Questions:
1. Can you tell me a little more about the staff structure in your program?
2. Why is this position open? (I got big points for asking this one, this also gives you more info on whether you're replacing someone and possibly why, or if it's a new position)
3. How often has this position been filled in the past five years? What were the main reasons?
4. What would you like done differently by the next person who fills this position? (Another good one)
5. What kind of staff development program do you offer?
6. What can you tell me about the community of______?
7. In what ways is your program growing?
8. What significant changes do you foresee in the near future?
9. What are some of the more difficult problems one would have to face in this position?
10. What opportunities might I have for committee involvement?
11. What advancement opportunities are available for the person who is successful in this position, and within what time frame?
12. What challenges are currently facing your department/institution?
13. What kind of training would I be given for this position?
14. What qualities are you looking for in a candidate?
15. What initially attracted you to this company?
16. What are the things you like most about working here? What are some things you would change?
17. What type of support does this position receive in terms of staff, finances, etc?
18. What is the next step after this position?
19. Can you tell me about the hiring time line for this position? (This one is appropriate for any type of interview. Make sure you know when is an appropriate time to call if you don't hear back from the company.)
Pick a handful that are the most appropriate for the position you're applying to. You may find that some of the questions cross each other or that the interviewer already answered with question through another one.
Remember, people love to talk about themselves. It's what they know best. Showing interest in the interviewer as well as the company is very important in trying to make the best impression.
Monday, February 2, 2009
The Hidden Message in Job Ads
Here's some fun jokes about the job search and what employers really mean when they say...
"Fun work environment:" - Your coworkers will be insulted if you don't drink with them.
"Must be deadline oriented:" - You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"Competitive salary:" - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors
"Join our fast-paced department:" - We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself
to your coworkers.
"Immediate opening:" - The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We're just
now running the ad.
"Self-motivated:" - Management won't answer questions.
"Some public relations required:" - If we're in trouble you'll go on TV and get us out of it.
"Some overtime required:" - Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"Flexible hours:" - Work 40 hours; get paid for 25.
"Duties will vary:" - Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"Where employees feel valued:" - Those who missed the last round of layoffs, that is.
"Must have an eye for detail:" - We have no quality control.
"Career-Minded:" - Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"No phone calls please:" - We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience:" - You'll need it to replace three people
who just left.
"Problem-solving skills a must:" - You're walking into a business in perpetual chaos.
"Requires team leadership skills:" - You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay
or respect.
"Good communication skills:" - Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they
want you to do.
"Ability to handle a heavy workload:" You whine, you're fired.
"Aspirations for growth within our department:" - We loooooove brown-nosers.
hehe.
For the next post I'll be posting some questions to ask a potential employer during an interview. Stay tuned.
"Fun work environment:" - Your coworkers will be insulted if you don't drink with them.
"Must be deadline oriented:" - You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"Competitive salary:" - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors
"Join our fast-paced department:" - We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself
to your coworkers.
"Immediate opening:" - The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We're just
now running the ad.
"Self-motivated:" - Management won't answer questions.
"Some public relations required:" - If we're in trouble you'll go on TV and get us out of it.
"Some overtime required:" - Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"Flexible hours:" - Work 40 hours; get paid for 25.
"Duties will vary:" - Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"Where employees feel valued:" - Those who missed the last round of layoffs, that is.
"Must have an eye for detail:" - We have no quality control.
"Career-Minded:" - Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"No phone calls please:" - We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience:" - You'll need it to replace three people
who just left.
"Problem-solving skills a must:" - You're walking into a business in perpetual chaos.
"Requires team leadership skills:" - You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay
or respect.
"Good communication skills:" - Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they
want you to do.
"Ability to handle a heavy workload:" You whine, you're fired.
"Aspirations for growth within our department:" - We loooooove brown-nosers.
hehe.
For the next post I'll be posting some questions to ask a potential employer during an interview. Stay tuned.
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